The Fourth Quarter
I had lunch the other day with a friend I hadn’t seen in 49 years. 49. Yikes.
Leslie and I first met when we were high schoolers participating in a summer foreign study and travel program in Europe. Truth be told, the “study” part was pretty minimal. But the “travel” part was extraordinary.
As 17- and 18-year-olds untethered from daily parenting in 1977—meaning no cell phones—we both left that summer experience with eye-opening memories as well as a bit of growth, maturing, and appreciation.
But that summer ended and all the students returned to their respective homes in the states. Most of them to Virginia. Leslie to Texas. And me, Nebraska.
After that, well, there was a big, long, blank until Facebook brought the two of us back together a few years ago.
And that leads me to lunch the other day while Leslie and her husband were in town visiting friends.
So what did the three of us discuss? Surprisingly, we spent little time reminiscing about the summer of 1977.
We DID spend a fair chunk of time filling in the blanks from the last 49 years. Marriage, raising kids, careers – the whirlwind years.
And what we spent the most time on is where we are now. Life from our current vantage points.
“The beginning of our respective 4th Quarters” was a term that entered our discussion. And that’s when our conversation got really meaningful.
How lucky am I to have such a wonderful reunion?
Since seeing them, I’ve been thinking about the term, “4th Quarter.” I’m also realizing how quickly life—especially Quarters 2 and 3—passes.
What, exactly, are those four quarters? Certainly there is no specific timeframe to them. But perhaps there is a curriculum of experiences and lessons to be had in each of them.
Here’s my take:
1st Quarter: Becoming. From birth to young adulthood, a time of adventure and discovery. All while having the security of a home, parents and a comfy bed. It’s a time to dream and believe anything is possible. A time to learn from our mistakes. The future is limitless – and goes on to infinity.
2nd Quarter: Building. The proverbial little bird flying away from its parents’ nest. For me, this started after college. It’s a time to try out careers and pursue relationships of all sorts. Throw in kids and homes for good measure. All that adds up to more and more responsibilities. Don’t blink. The flurry of the 2nd Quarter flies by.
3rd Quarter: Belonging. I’m sure this varies by the individual. But for me, the 3rd Quarter started when my first child left for college. And I think it’s coming to an end now that I’m a grandfather. That would make my 3rd Quarter about 20 years. It’s a time where you begin to catch your breath a little. A time where you not only start to look back but also find the courage to look forward. For me it’s been a time to prioritize relationships and experiences. Some old ambitions – like acquiring things – matter far less. What does matter is finding my purpose and life’s meaning. And holding on dearly to the people who matter most.
4th Quarter: Being. Considering I am just starting this Quarter, I can only imagine what this time in my life will bring. I hope the coming years bring me presence, gratitude, connection, reconciliation, and curiosity. I hope they bring me a multitude of days and years surrounded by the people who matter most, with activities that make a positive difference in all of our lives. Years ago, someone told me to “live the life you hope your kids will describe you by with joy long after you are gone.” That’s what I hope the 4th Quarter is for me.
49 years. At 17 and 18, 49 years would have seemed like an eternity to Leslie and me. And now, from today’s vantage point, 49 years is, well, just a fast-moving reality.
How incredibly lucky to be where we are. Here’s to our 4th Quarter. And I wouldn’t complain if it included a little extra time.
Overtime ain’t all bad.
Jim Higley is the co-founder of Puffer Hug, a company whose mission is to connect the world with kindness, one hug at a time. Learn more about Puffer Hug here.